If you are looking for the answer to “Is Porn Bad For Me?” you have probably run into the NoFap movement. I have read their stuff, watched their videos and read their posts. I notice three very dangerous trends in the NoFap movement that could lead you down a more painful path than the one you are on now.
What You Resist Persists
By its very definition the NoFap folks are against watching porn and against masturbation. “What you resist persists,” often attributed to Carl Jung, sums up the results of all attempts to fight against something when making change in your life.
Don’t think of a pink elephant. You cannot do it. The very act of negating the pink elephant makes it real and more importantly gives it POWER. Whose power? YOUR POWER.
Porn has no power of its own. It does not reach out and grab you by the throat and force you to watch. You give it powerful energy when you watch it and when you fight against it. If you attack it, it shows you believe that it can attack back. It can’t attack without your help.
Are you giving porn more power in your life by fighting against it?
Us vs. Them
Whenever a group sets itself up based upon the judgment that something is bad and they are good, the possibility of us versus them exists. Us versus them leads to holier than thou and you are less than me thinking. Nothing is more destructive to a feeling of connection. Isn’t that feeling of connection what you want?
One aspect of the question “Is Porn Bad For Me?” is questioning how it affects your relationships with others. Is the energy you put into porn stolen from the energy you would give your family, your co-workers/fellow students and your friends?
Whether you are putting your friendship energy into porn or into I am better than you because I haven’t looked at porn or masturbated for 30 days, the results are the same. You are lonely and you are not reaching out to the people who can let you be a part of a connected relationship that can lets you feel good.
Is NoFap making you more miserable than you already are?
You are squandering an incredible opportunity
George Gurdjieff was a pretty fascinating guy. You are going to find all sorts of conflicting information about him. Believe what you like. However one thing that cannot be disputed is he gave us access to tools for self-awareness. He was a master of self-awareness.
Gurdjieff talked about intentional suffering. It is the act of setting up friction in your life and then using that friction to become more self-aware, to establish a more permanent “I.” Choosing to not watch porn and to masturbate less is going to result in some friction in your life. You will become aware of thoughts, emotions and physical sensations that will seem to have great energy. However, they only have the energy you give them.
Can you use the awareness of these thoughts, emotions and sensations to practice remembering that you are self-aware? Gurdjieff showed that you can. He dismissed unintentional suffering as useless and no better than engaging in the undesired behavior. He saw both of them as a method for forgetting we can be aware and remember “I am.”
Are you wasting this opportunity?
Fighting against what you don’t want, setting yourself apart and alone and squandering your opportunity for real change are all dangers of the NoFap movement. It is important that as you decide for yourself whether porn is bad for you that you don’t get sucked in to just another dead end. Can you use this time and energy in your life to be happier, more productive and more connected than you ever have been? Only you know.